Dr. Stanley Goldstein - Author and Psychologist

The addictive nature of social media has gained public attention and fear of its power to create mental disorders. Two reasons seem to underlie this concern: the widespread lack of knowledge of child psychological development; and public reluctance to confront parenting errors which I consider the proverbial Elephant in the Room.
That web activity can be addictive is undeniable but so are other activities which are obsessive-compulsive in nature since it is part of the human condition: an inborn mental mechanism designed to reduce anxiety which is its lure. An obsession is a recurring thought and a compulsion is a repeated behavior. For example, frequently worrying whether one has locked a door (the obsession) may cause the person to check this several times (the compulsion).

So when a youth is greatly involved in any such activity, video game play, web viewing, hopscotch or anything else, it indicates their excessive anxiety and need for parental and possibly professional investigation of why they are distressed rather than parental obsessing about what they are doing (unless it is potentially harmful or dangerous, of course).

As New York City's past mayor observed when an armed teenager was arrested while wandering the streets at night: where were his parents when he was behaving like this?

Once, while testifying as expert witness in court, I described my use of the Thematic Apperception Test, a widely used projective psychological test developed at Harvard University in the 1930s. Consisting of picture cards showing people engaged in diverse activities, the subject is asked to create a story which is interpreted as revealing their personality, conflicts, and ways of relating to others. After my explanation the attorney asked, "Well Dr. Goldstein, if I made up a story (I no longer remember his story), would this mean that I had sexual problems with my wife?"
I could hardly believe what I'd heard. The lawyer opened his mouth and his unconscious flowed out--providing me an opportunity that I couldn't resist. "Sir, I can express no professional opinion about your sexual adequacy with your wife," I answered. The courtroom broke up in laughter, the judge smiled, and the lawyer sat down.
Lawyer beware: the unconscious is very powerful and one must respect its power. To quote Jung: "Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate." 

The psychiatric diagnoses most discussed online can be easily understood. The critical ego capacities governing control of thinking and behavior, the ability to distinguish reality from fantasy, the ability to develop a sense of who one is ("sense of self"), and the ability to modulate feelings develop within the first three years of an infant's life provided they experience a good-enough, not perfect, parenting. If not, weakness of these basic capacities may occur, causing mental health symptoms indicating that something is wrong.
Bi-Polar Disorder indicates atypical mood swings, and its diagnosis should never be applied to youth since it requires an adult mental structure which youth lack by definition.
Schizophrenia, indicating a severe weakness of basic ego capacities, is often misdiagnosed particularly when substance abuse is present.
Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) has symptoms identical to those of anxiety and depression which can be associated with virtually every biological and psychological disorder. It is an unsophisticated concept about which a profitable industry has grown.
Obsession-Compulsive Disorder is the excessive use of the normal ego capacities used by the mind to reduce anxiety, an obsession being a recurring thought and a compulsion being a recurring behavior. Their use is normal except when interfering with healthy functioning.
Autism derives from severely deficient parent-child interaction during the earliest years when basic ego capacities are formed, the child retreating into a protective psychological shell from which they must be slowly weaned by an understanding therapist. It too is often misdiagnosed.
Asperger's Disorder is perhaps best noted as an extreme incapacity to relate socially because of faulty early developmental experiences when such abilities are acquired.
Final word: parenting is critical, early treatment is better than later, and the healing ability of therapists varies. What's your puzzling term?

Poor communication is a major cause of marital issues, its origin being traceable to childhood when personality weaknesses develop. For effective communication a person must have an accurate sense of who they are. This "sense of self" is gained through the continuing interaction between a child and their mother who is the most important figure in a toddler's life. Through this emotional interchange the child eventually gains a firm adult personality which governs his thinking and behavior throughout life. But problems can develop.

 If a mother is narcissistic, she places her interests above those of her child, using them to reflect her idealized image of herself rather than what should be primary: encouraging their child's independent accurate identity which is needed to communicate well with others. And from this deficiency many years later, marital problems may arise.

That many American students, even those in high school, are poor readers has been evidenced by numerous studies though the solution is simple and inexpensive: having their parents read to them during toddlerhood.

The human mind has the capacity to induct the nature of reading if this task is presented properly, just as it does with the grammar of the language of the country into which a child is born. Thus a child born in France learns to speak French and a child born in Spain learns to speak Spanish. Not by learning all possible word combinations which it has been written would take a hundred-thousand years, but by inducting the nature of their nation's grammar.

In a similar manner a child can learn to read if, as a toddler, their mother or parenting figure holds them closely and reads to them while running their finger under the line. Using this technique most children will be reading simple books by the time they begin kindergarten. With no cost or the price of a book or trip to the local library. So why doesn't the government push this?

Not every national goal must be costly since improving the nation's mental health can be done relatively cheaply. Not quickly or one-hundred-per-cent but nothing beneficial ever is. A popular belief is that parents know how to parent though paid babysitters are required to gain instruction. Another assumption is that the happiest time of a couple's life is after the birth of their child though the greatest marital is after an unselected newborn with their own personality is brought home for integration into the already structured family unit. This stress is increased by the lack of understanding since babies are not born with instructions.
During the first three years of life, when a child's mother or mothering figure is of critical influence, the basic ego capacities governing control of thinking and behavior (the ability to distinguish reality from fantasy; the ability to modulate feelings; the ability to develop a "sense of self" (sense of who one is) are created. While never perfectly developed in anyone, serious weakness will cripple adult functioning and foster huge public expenditures. Consider the crimes we read of daily, and the silent suffering of many.

A possible solution would be the provision of a friendly visitor, who can be a nurse or paraprofessional trained in child development and child guidance, to bond with each new mother through weekly visits for the first months of a newborn's life.

Greater public education about child development would produce improvement too. All relatively cheaply when considering the cost of running jails and prisons and providing mental health facilities. Enough said.

The term "therapy" has become broadened, it now being considered to include art or music or walking or shopping or another relaxing activity. But "psychotherapy," the treatment of emotional ills, has historically referred to treatment inside a person's mind. The unconscious is very powerful and one must respect its power.

Along with this misconception are the following.
1. While the benefits of psychotherapy can be priceless, its outcome depends on the talent and education of the therapist and, like with the members of all trades, the outcome of their work will differ.
2. The sex of the therapist, or indeed any demographic, has nothing to do with the effectiveness of treatment, with the rare exception that if a person has been severely abused they may feel more comfortable with a therapist of the opposite sex.
3. A therapist is not your friend though there are friendship aspects to the interaction. It is a business relationship in which the therapist is being paid to improve the life of their patient.
4. While therapy is an enjoyable experience there will be pain when some experiences and issues are discussed.
5. At the first session the therapist will already know much about you deriving from their education and training.
6. A change of therapist should be considered when: the therapist frequently changes appointment time with their reason not being illness; the therapist uses professional jargon to explain human difficulties; the therapist deprecates the patient's ability to achieve an educational or vocational or personal goal; the therapist often seems bored or sleepy.
7. Progress in therapy is unrelated to the number of words spoken during a session though most patients benefit from a more active therapist.
Yet with all these cautions, psychotherapy remains the only way to repair the painful effects of destructive developmental experiences.