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A Psychologist's Thoughts on Clinical Practice, Behavior, and Life

When the Fantasy of Having Had a Loving Mother Must End

After telling me his nightmare, a patient rejected my interpretation of it as reflecting anger toward his mother. "No, my mother always loved me," he said. Which may have been true for her relinquishing of parental rights enabled the patient's life to dramatically improve after his adoption and psychotherapy.


It is hard to accept being unloved at birth. Though the helpless infant can survive without physical care, psychological neglect can equally damage their future. And the most important person in their earliest years is their mother or mothering figure. Viewing the world with an immature mind, every child considers their parents to be omniscient. Thus if the child is unloved, it must be their fault.

 

Only with maturity, and possibly psychotherapy, can one accept a basic psychological truth: that while all children are lovable at birth, some mothers ore incapable of providing it. For this realization to occur, two things must happen: an acceptance of their parent's limitations, and their own.

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Postpartum Depression in Fathers

Postpartum depression is a term which has usually been applied to mothers. And who can wonder at this for, after the birth of her child, the mother’s life irrevocably changes. Her first priority must now be the welfare of her child who is wholly dependent upon her for its continued existence.

But a  Read More 
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Distressed Mothers

Being a parent is never easy but it's particularly difficult when your child is ill.
Not with the commonplace cold or pinkeye which every child gets, but with a chronic
medical condition which requires continual monitoring and intervention.

A Norwegian study revealed the effect which having a child with a
congenital heart defect has  Read More 
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